Another Reminder to Myself

Today, I really need to remind myself to appreciate how far I've come. I worry too much about where I'm going. I am extremely hard on myself; I've been doing yoga every day and keeping a yoga journal to work through this. Yoga, for me, is a beautiful escape. I can't focus on the outside world if I'm breathing and focusing all of my energy into moving from pose to pose. I can't focus on hating my body if it's serving me so well.
My first "leap" was the moment I finally moved into headstand (against the wall-working on doing it without the support of the wall); I didn't think about the coulds and shoulds and musts. I just DID it. I wrote that day: "I finally lifted past that fear and into headstand...I am absolutely elated over it. The joy of achieving this feat that has eluded me for quite some time now is beyond explanation."
Taking my yoga a step further, now that I've found some courage in my poses, I am working towards just BEING in the moment. I'm learning to let go of the thoughts and to just BE in poses. It's liberating but it's a constantly ongoing process for me. Giving myself permission to LET GO is very, very difficult. I NEED to let myself be, to stop creating havoc in my own poor brain and accept me as I am. Recently, I did an outdoor yoga session and that was an experience I would be willing to do over and over again. With the sun beaming down on me and the frogs croaking in the creek, I didn't care about the people behind me or nearby me. I cared nothing about how I measured up. I cared only about the practice...and isn't that what it's really about?

Namaste.